You Did WHAT In My Bed?

 In Featured Stories

Age 15, Virginia, USA

He said he wanted to talk, so you decided to take him to my bedroom for some privacy. You two were acting strange earlier in the day, and maybe you didn’t want to have a discussion that may turn into an argument in front of me. I’d been through that with you and your previous boyfriend and it always turned ugly. But this was your new boyfriend, and you two couldn’t be fighting already, could you?

I don’t know how much time had passed when I finally went to check to see what was taking you two so long. He must have heard my footsteps because he opened the door and we passed each other through the doorway to my bedroom.

He said bye. I said bye. You didn’t say anything at all.

You were sitting on my bed when I noticed the condom wrapper on my bedside table. The realization hit me that you’d just done it in my bed and all I could feel was betrayal. And disrespect.

You told me that it was the first time the two of you had had sex.
You told me that he was frustrated and couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t have sex with him when you did it with your previous boyfriend. (That’s what he wanted to talk about.)
You told me that you told him you weren’t ready to do it with him yet.
You told me that you didn’t want to do it, but did it because you felt like you didn’t have a choice.

I didn’t hear what you were trying to tell me.

All I saw was the condom wrapper and the friend who betrayed me. The friend who decided to have sex with her boyfriend in my bed. In the bed in the room where I hadn’t even kissed a boy yet.

I didn’t hear what you were trying to tell me.

I couldn’t hear you through my thoughts of your betrayal.
I couldn’t hear you through your disrespect.
I couldn’t hear you when I looked at the condom wrapper sitting on my bedside table.
Because if there was a condom, of course you wanted to do it.

I’m sorry that I said my bed was tainted.
I’m sorry that I thought you doing this made you a slut.
I’m sorry that all I could think of was myself and what I thought you did to me.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep my big judgmental mouth shut.

I’m sorry that I didn’t hear what you were trying to tell me.

I hope you forgive me.

Start typing and press Enter to search