Smashed Heart/Smashed Watch

Age 19, USA

You were a jerk, prick, asshole—pick one or pick them all, but that’s what you were.

We dated for a year, the year your ex-girlfriend was out of the country.

Not only did I loved spending time with you, I was in love with you and I was pretty sure you were in love with me. One weekend, you came to visit me at college, and like other times we hung out and had a wonderful time together. The sex was good, too. Everything seemed fine.

When you returned home, you called me. Almost immediately, I could tell something was off. You told me you left your watch—a family heirloom—and asked if I’d send it to you.

“Sure,” I said.

“I need you to send it to my work address,” you said.

Alarm bells went off in my head. “What’s going on?” I asked.

And that’s when you confessed. We were over. Your ex-girlfriend was back in the country and the two of you were not only a couple, but you were living together.

To say that I was shocked, stunned, furious is an understatement. I felt betrayed and used. How could you? How dare you?

I sent you that watch, but first I threw it on the ground and smashed it!

What did I learn?

Breaking your watch when you broke my heart didn’t make me feel better at all. In many ways, it made me feel worse. No matter how many times I tried to justify it, told myself that you DESERVED IT, it was wrong. I’m sorry I did it. I hope you forgive me.

Time passed and you married her, divorced, and are now remarried.

I am happily married as well, so it all worked out in the end. But what you did to me was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I carried that betrayal for many years—way longer than the time we were together. Now I know you carried a heavy load of guilt and it impacted your life, too.

If only you had been honest with me about your ex. If only you had broken up with me. If only you hadn’t wanted one more weekend with me, things would have been so different.

You did eventually apologize, but there was no way I was going to forgive you. That was a big mistake. I wish I hadn’t carried that anger, pain, and resentment for so long. I wish I had forgiven you and more importantly myself, and moved on. Perhaps both of our lives would have had a little less pain if I had forgiven you years ago.