An Apology To Myself

Age 13, USA

This is a letter to myself.

The first time I hurt you was when I was 13 years old. I scratched my arm until it was raw because I liked the way it looked. I liked that I was hurt on the outside because I was hurting on the inside. The next time I hurt you, I had just turned 14. I used my locket this time. The sharp edges easily drew marks on my arms and puffed up. I loved when they puffed. Once that happened, it was a completely downward spiral. I started using razors and compasses to cut deeper and cause more pain. Then, I quit.

I realized I was wasting away and most people would kill for the life that I had. It didn’t matter in the end.

Who’s to say my pain is less than yours?

Who’s to say that just because it could be worse, my sadness doesn’t matter?

I started self-harming again and I even broke my own hand. For this, I will say I am sorry. To the past me. To the present me. And most importantly, to the future me. It will get better. These scars aren’t worth the pain. All these memories will fade along with the scars and you will be happy. I hope you forgive me.

Carmen

What did you learn?

Sometimes you just need to have a little faith and hope for a happy ending.

 The person who submitted this story included this with it.