Cutting To Fit In
Age 13, Tennessee, USA
When I was 13, my biggest concern was fitting in. I just wanted to be accepted. So these two girls I met let me into their group, but I still felt like an outcast.
I saw that they self harmed, so I started to do it as well. I found out I liked it. It started on my shoulder, then my wrist. It went to my thighs, then around my bellybutton and finally my ribs.
One night I had cut. My sister saw. She started crying and begged me to stop. So I flushed the only blade I had and didn’t cut again until I was 16.
I found a pencil sharpener and took the blade to my thighs. I didn’t like it anymore, so I threw that blade away too.
My scars define who I am and the struggles I’ve gone through in life. Sometimes I look at them with hate, and sometimes I look at them and smile and say “I made it.” I’ve been clean for a year, and I don’t think I’ll pick up a blade again.
What did you learn?
I learned that it does get better, and that you can find happiness, you just have to wait.
(Harming yourself to fit in isn’t the answer. Forgive yourself, love yourself and find your own way to be happy with who you are. Don’t look to others to make you happy, but find it within yourself.)