Be You
Age 14, Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
The first time I walked through the doors of hell I called high school, I was nervous and scared and confused. I had my old friends from middle school, so I wasn’t worried about not having people to talk to, but I was worried about how hard my classes would be and who my teachers were.
Flash forward three months, I believed I’d fallen in love with this girl…
Now here I am, only 14 years old and I thought I knew what love was… I had no clue.
Another time: Skip to when my parents found out I was bisexual. They didn’t take it well. I cried myself to sleep, and I was all alone. I had no one.
“Being gay is NOT OKAY.”
“You’re gonna go to hell.”
“Stupid faggot.”
These were some of the things I was told. But I’m over came that.
And I’m still me.
And I’ll love whomever I want, because it’s my choice.
What did you learn?
It’s okay to be me. I’m not living anyone else’s life, but mine. Why worry about what people will think? Just be you, and leave your haters behind.
IHYFM’s response:
Dear “Be You,”Wow, we love your message! Thank you for sharing.It’s painful to have people we love say awful things. But your words show that your opinion of yourself is the most important one and that you refuse to allow that hurt to define you!!!! Loving yourself is critical to loving another person! Yes, leave those haters behind.But it’s hard when it’s your parents, right?
You didn’t say whether or not you were able to forgive your parents for saying those horrible words—and even worse, that they believe what they say. We hope that they have learned from you on how to be kind and accepting and loving.
The people who are supposed to love us don’t always give us the love we deserve. We don’t know if you’re subjected to regular verbal abuse or if things are better. We hope so, but often these beliefs are locked in. Nothing a person can say or do can change another. If they’re unhappy, that’s their problem, not yours.
We hope you’re surrounded with friends who love you for exactly who you are. Sometimes, we have to redefine the meaning of “family” to more than our parents. We know that family doesn’t have to be defined by blood. Family can be defined by who has your back. Who loves you and accepts you. Life can be incredibly complicated. Don’t give up on your parents. Sometimes it takes time. Stay strong! Continue to love yourself for being the awesome you!