Age 13, Pennsylvania

The first time my older sister abused me was three or four years ago. She would beat me over and over again for the stupidest things. I saw through her, though. I knew she had problems. Once, I found her holding a knife to her heart.

She beat me till I cried or sometimes even pass out.
After she moved out, it all stopped, but it had a huge impact on me. I had negative thoughts because of everything she told me. I hurt myself and thought about ending my life. But because I didn’t know what my family would do without me, it stopped me. I have a niece that needs me and I couldn’t walk out on her like that.

After a year of hurting myself, I realized what I was doing. I tried so hard to stop. Things got so rough that I did it again. But I am now almost a year and a half clean and I couldn’t be happier.

You may have hurt me, but you didn’t break me.

What did you learn?
Stand up! Don’t be like me and and not tell anyone. Be heard.

IHYFM’s response:
I Hope You Forgive Me

Dear “Some Secrets Need To Be Told,”

Thank you for your powerful message. We are so sorry you had to endure such emotional and physical abuse from your sister.

Abusers use fear to keep the abused from speaking up. It’s what keeps us in their hold. But your message is a critical one! Speak UP! Don’t let the person get away with it. There’s a phrase we love: Courage is being afraid, but doing it anyway. You have courage. We deeply admire that you found your voice. We deeply admire your strength to not only endure, but thrive!

We hope that you’re tremendously proud of yourself. We’re certain the work you’ve done to heal hasn’t been easy, but you’re proof that even during the worst of times a person can find something to grasp onto. For you, it was your family, especially your niece.

We hope you’ve been able to forgive your sister. Forgiveness never means saying what she did was okay. It just means that you recognize that she had some serious mental issues. It means no longer giving her any power over you. We also hope that you’ve been able to forgive yourself for not speaking up sooner, for turning that pain and anger on to yourself. We also hope that you continue to focus on how brave you were to finally stand up for yourself. Please know that we admire and respect what your growth and decision to change! You are a hero to the most important person in your life: YOU!