Age 15, Atlanta, Georgia, USA
I’m sorry. Not only to myself but to him. I was constantly harming myself. I didn’t think anyone cared and I thought that I was worthless. I was too busy dealing with my anxiety and depression that I didn’t even realize something that was life-changing. My childhood best friend was dying from cancer. How did I not realize it? We talked every single day. But I was too busy worrying about myself.
You died about a month before you turned 15. Of course I was already 15. You would constantly call me old even though I was only a few months older than you. I’m sorry for not realizing that you were hurting, I’m sorry for not saying “I love you” enough, I’m sorry that I didn’t get the chance to tell you goodbye, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t stay strong.
I’m still hurting. It’s been almost 2 years and I still can’t talk about you without having a breakdown. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I still hurt myself sometimes. Life is so much harder without you. I’m so sorry, Noah.