She Found Me
Age 17, White Lake, Wisconsin, USA
Little Sister: Part 1
I hope you forgive me
For what I did
I never meant to hurt you
Like I did.
I’ve made you cry
Multiple times
Whenever you’d see my scars
It’d bring tears to your eyes
I hope you forgive me
For pushing you away
For making you feel
Like I don’t love you.
I regret
The decisions
I’ve made that hurt you.
I hope you forgive me
For putting that blade to my skin.
For creating scars
Everywhere.
I have scars on the inside
And out.
And I hope you forgive me
For hurting myself.
I hope you forgive me
For hating myself.
For looking in the mirror
Wishing to be someone else.
I hope you can forgive me
For all the times that I’ve cried
And screamed
Wondering what I can do
To stop feeling this way.
Little sister,
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Part 2: Little Girl
That little girl
Staring back at me,
Slowly crying,
Letting tears fall silently down her cheeks.
She hates her image.
Don’t you see?
She doesn’t want to try,
So she only cries.
Loving herself,
She slowly says,
“Is it really worth it?”
That little silver blade
Is her friend.
She slowly glides it
Across her skin.
Little red lines
Show across her arm.
“One more cut,
It won’t do much harm.”
And many cuts later
She falls to the floor.
And that little silver blade
Falls out of her hand and lands next to her.
Her sister gets home
And calls her name.
And when she gets no answer
She walks to your room.
She notices the bathroom door slightly open,
So she slowly walks inside.
And sees you lying there,
Screaming,
Crying.
She calls 911,
Hoping to save
Her big sister.
The ambulance comes
And takes you away
And leaves your sister
Crying on that bathroom floor.
Days go by
And you’re finally awake
And your little sister
Is sitting on the chair besides.
She ask you one question:
“Why did you do it?”
What do you tell
Your little sister?
You hate yourself
And want to die?
When you’re finally released
Your little sister waits.
She smiles as she walks
You out of the hospital room.
Going home
You suddenly realize
That if it wasn’t for your little sister
You’d probably be dead.
She saved your life.
She cares,
She loves.
So what I’m getting at
Is I hope you can forgive me.
I hope you can forgive me for trying to take my life that night.
I hope you can forgive me for thinking a blade is my only friend.
I hope you can forgive me for hating myself.
And mostly
I hope you can forgive me
For thinking you don’t care.