HELP! No Memory Of What I Did

Age 16, Wisconsin, USA

I don’t expect anyone to forgive me because I can’t even forgive myself. It was a Friday. I came home from a extremely horrible day and I did a couple of things I deeply regret.

But what you, readers, need to know is that I absolutely don’t remember anything that took place.

How do I know this happened?  My parents have cameras around the house. So I watched it. I hurt my brother physically and mentally. I love my brother so much and can’t believe I treated him this way. I also hurt my puppy. I love animals and I would never internally hurt even a fly, but that afternoon I became someone else. I picked my puppy by the feet and the skin and I kicked her. And I broke two of her ribs.

I hate myself for all of this and I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself.

HAS ANYONE ever blanked out like this before? I honestly do not remember doing what I did. If this has happened to you, I would love to know so that I don’t feel so alone and awful.

What did you learn?

To stay away from people and animals when I’m even a little upset.