The War That Was Ultimately Won

Age 17 (Poem took place between ages 11-17), Lewisville, TX, USA

Growing up, you thought you would become a princess. 
Little did you know you would be a princess of guilt, insanity and confusion. 
Little by little, things started happening. 
You lost your dad,
Then you were sexually abused. 
You went to the bottle for help. 
You went for the razor. 
You went for bottles of pills. 
Never did you reach out. 
Until you were raped. 
You had no choice but to come clean.
You ended up in the hospital again. 
You swore it was the last time. 
You actually managed to get to two years of sobriety by the time you were 17. 
Then it all started happening again. 
This little thing called life. 
First it took your friend. 
Then it took your boyfriend. 
Then your teacher. 
You couldn’t handle any more of this. 
So you decided that life didn’t love you. 
You decided that this would be your last day. 
You tried, but of course it was another failed attempt. 
You cried. 
You didn’t understand. 
This time you called for help. 
You were yet again hospitalized. 
You relapsed. 
You didn’t stop. 
A few weeks later you still felt dead inside. 
You asked for help again. 
This time you actually felt relieved. 
You went away and came back. 
Things started to fall into place. 
You started to see the world as home. 
The way the wind races. 
The way the trees dance. 
The way leaves swirl in circles. 
The hurt in crying. 
The joy in laughing.
The way that everything seemed to make sense. 
Life used to be a battle. 
It always felt like you were being shot or held captive. 
Today you can actually say that you won this war. 
You are finally a princess. 
A princess of inner peace.