I Thought I Made The Right Decision, But…

Age, 16, Pensacola, Florida

Five months ago, when I was still 16, I made one of the worst decisions of my life. I had an abortion. It’s just now hitting me how sad I am. I regret it so much. It hurts so bad. The dad was awful to me. He was threatening every little thing. I thought I had made the right decision. I would be 8 months pregnant right now. I cried over your first ultrasound, peanut. I’m so sorry and I hope you can forgive me.The pain is unreal.

What did you learn?

I learned to be more careful with who I’m with, and to throughly think my decisions through from now on.

Response from IHYFM
I Hope You Forgive Me

Dear “I Thought I Made The Right Decision, But…”

We’re so sorry. You’ve been through so much and to have experienced this with an young man who was abusive and hateful and cruel on top of having to cope with being pregnant is A LOT. Having a support system is so critical for a person’s healthy—physically and emotionally and spiritually.

You may not realize this, but you’re in mourning. And it’s a painful, emotional experience. We hope that you’re a good person. Why? Because a good person would imagine that if a friend was in this situation, you’d wrap your arms around that friend and say, “I know you’re in pain. I know you’re angry with yourself right now. I know you’re questioning your decision. But you made that decision at the time because you felt it was the best one. You were scared, terrified. The father was abusive. And even though it was the hardest decision you’ve ever made, you were sixteen. I love you. We can’t roll back the clock, but you can take good care of yourself. You can live your life to bring joy and happiness and goodness into this world. You can pour that heartache into making yourself better, instead of making yourself worse. No, you can’t change the past, but you can and must forgive. Because seeing you hurt yourself, seeing you do things to punish yourself is absolutely the worst nightmare. Worse that that decision. And since I love you, as your friend, as a good person who made a really, really tough decision, I’m here for you when you need to cry. I’m here when you need to say good-bye to that little life. But I’m also here because I want to see you live! I want to see you make great choices with your life. No, you can’t go back in time. No one or nothing will ever take the place of that loss. So, since I love you, the next time a guy wants to have sex with you, make sure it’s a guy that you could spend the rest of your life loving. Make sure he would be an amazing father. That he’s a forever. That when he says that he loves you, his words and actions match, that he’s not into you just because he wants sex. Because that guy will never have to carry what you carried. You’re not a toy to be used and discarded. You’re not just a body. You have a mind, a heart, and a soul! You’re deserving of respect! You deserve love.

Love yourself. Take care of yourself. Be true to yourself. Become the person you can be proud of. This is a choice you won’t forget, but don’t ever use it as a tool or an excuse to NOT be the very best you, to be less than. Don’t accept anything less than your best. Make yourself into that person you can admire, someone who has overcome! (Love, A Good Person, A Good Friend. YOU)