I Pulled Your Heartstrings
Age 16, Wisconsin, USA
The day I saw you I couldn’t help but notice how you smiled at me every time you looked my way. I didn’t know you, but my dad was helping your family out. I realized that I liked you (or that’s what I thought.)
I never got your name, but with a little time, I figured out who you were and reached out to you. You responded and we soon became friends. We talked about our hopes, dreams, fears, but I was hiding something from you.
You told me I was beautiful and that was the first time I shut you out. I didn’t like you that way, so I told you I didn’t want to talk to you anymore. A few weeks later, we started talking again as if nothing happened. The little things you said to me made me stop talking to you again and I blocked you. But then I started talking with you again.
This went on a couple times until I decided that I couldn’t play with your feelings anymore. Why? Because I didn’t have any feelings for you. Once again, I blocked you out.
A friend of mine told me that you talked to her. She said that you were confused. That you didn’t understand why.
I never told you, but it felt wrong talking to you. You were a year younger than me and lived in a totally different area. Whenever I talked to you, it felt wrong. My stomach would tighten up and I would feel so much guilt. I’m so sorry I never told you the real reason, I’m very sorry. I just can’t handle talking to you, it doesn’t feel right. I’m also sorry about ever reaching out to you and causing this whole thing to happen in the first place. I hope you can forgive me. I’m truly sorry.
What did you learn?
Don’t make people feel that they are part of your life if you can’t handle talking to them. Think about what is best for them.