Hold Your Own Happiness
Age 15, Georgia, USA
When I was younger, I was in a sexually and physically abusive relationship. I was scared of love. Scared of men. Scared of myself. I started hurting myself at age 11, not really knowing what I was doing. At 14, I met a boy who helped me, calling me whenever he noticed a shift in tone. I lived for him and wanted only to see him happy. When he left me when I was 15, I thought I didn’t need him. But I did.
I hope you forgive me for the scars that are forever on my legs and on my heart.
I hope you forgive me for not being able to wear shorts or bathing suits.
I hope you forgive me for screaming out of nowhere.
I hope you forgive me for falling apart at the drop of a pen. And for crying all the time.
I hope you forgive me for not being there when you needed me the most because I was too hurt by my own thoughts.
But most of all I hope I can forgive myself.
What did you learn?
Don’t put all your happiness in someone else’s hand. Forgive yourself. Make yourself happy. Smile over little things. Laugh about nothing.