Walking A Tightrope

Maybe that was my first mistake?

Through the years, I listened to you talk about your mom, your sister, your dad, other friends and how awful they had been to you.

Things got really tough at home for me and I turned to you. You listened, seemed like you sympathized. And then you turned everything around and used my wounds as a weapon against me.

I listened to your problems. I listened to your complaints about school and your boyfriend and other people who had done you wrong. The list was long: the people you worked with at the grocery story. Your manager. Lindsey and Ty. Our English teacher and your swim coach.

And then things changed again…

I started hanging out with people from theater. You were busy with your other friends and attending swim meets. I was relieved not to deal with your crap anymore, especially the hurtful comments that stabbed me in the back about my weight, my hair, my family, my grades, to name just a few.

We saw each other once in awhile. I admit, I have avoided you as much as I could at school, except for in AP Calc, the only class we had together this semester. Yes, I did sit in the first row on purpose because I knew you wouldn’t.

When you asked me to go out with you on Friday night. I said I couldn’t because I had plans with my family. You didn’t believe me. You said I was trying to avoid you. You were right. I didn’t want to get together with you, but I didn’t lie, even though you said I was a liar.

More hurtful things were said. Over and over again, and I just took it. Until I couldn’t anymore. I’m done walking a tight rope with you. I get pushed off and the fall really hurts.

I can’t wait for graduation. I can’t wait to be done with this school.

I haven’t forgiven you for the things you said. But I’m working on it. And then I will be truly free.